Lydia Grace

Lydia Grace
Our first child, Lydia Grace

Monday, November 22, 2010

Mother of Two: Part 1

I'm pregnant!

  Yes, I am 10 weeks pregnant (technically tomorrow I will be 10 weeks). This sweet baby is due June 21st. We are incredibly excited and joyful for God to have blessed us with another child. We were going to wait to share our news with everyone, but (1) I am already starting to show and (2) the immediate family we did share our news with have already told more people than I would ever dream of telling. I needed to say something before others shared our news.

   "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15)

---you've got to be around for both---

   It is difficult to hear excitement from people whom neither my husband or I told we were pregnant and have not shared in our sorrow. One woman expressed her excitement to host a baby shower. She did not know about Lydia and I was unaware she knew I was pregnant. I am no where near a place to begin thinking about baby showers. (Can we do that after this little one safely arrives?) Then there are people with whom we have planned to share our news, only to find out they have already been told. It makes me angry and annoyed. More so when it is someone who is unaware of our loss or was not supportive with the loss of our child. Too much joy and excitement from others is too much for me. My husband said it was not fair to tell people and ask them to keep it a secret. So I did not tell anyone not to share our news, I just assumed (never smart) that others would understand it is OUR news. The emotions are really compounded with the loss of Lydia.

   The two most prevalent reactions I have heard are as follows:

Isn't it too soon? I've been asked if it is safe for me to be pregnant, is my body ready, is it alright with my OB, isn't it too early emotionally/physically, will being pregnant so soon increase my risk of loss...
You are neither my OB nor my husband, do not tell me when is the right time to be pregnant.

I'm so excited! I am so happy for you, this is wonderful, this will make everything better. No. I will never have my daughter I lost. I want her and this baby. This little one is her/his own person. She/he is not a replacement. Being pregnant has not ended my grief.

  Then there are both reactions from the same person: "Oh, I am so excited! Are you sure it's ok? This will be so great, things will be great! Did you doctor say it was okay for you to be pregnant so soon?"

   Ah, dealing with people.

I dislike reading extremely long blogs, so to be kind to me readers I am ending this blog now and will continue with my pregnancy story on the next blog post.


  1. Whoo Hoo! Pregnant! Where is my pic holding the good news of our second child?

  2. Wow, I am happy for you!!
    Your right, this baby will not replace your daughter, but speaking as a mother of a baby after the loss of my daughter, I do have to say that he has brought so much joy into this house. I tell him about his sister all the time and the fact that she is in heaven. We think she had a part in bringing him into our lives.
    You don't have to explain your choics to anyone.
    May God bless you with a happy, healthy pregnancy. Looking forward to following your journey and the arrival of your little one!

  3. Thank you!

    And, honey, I will put your picture on the next post. : )

  4. congratulations Rachel. That is so exciting. I'm so happy for you. I hope this pregnancy is a much smoother one than the one with Lydia. So happy for you.

  5. My pregnancy with Lydia was smooth. It was textbook perfect, no complications or problems. She developed perfectly normal. She was examined after she was born and nothing was wrong with her.

  6. Baby Shower after the sweet baby is safely here sounds like an AWESOME is their party anyways why not allow them to be there!!! I'm very happy for you two.

  7. God's timing is never the wrong time. God bless you and your family in your time of sorrow and happiness.