Lydia Grace

Lydia Grace
Our first child, Lydia Grace

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

One Year

August 1st is rapidly approaching.

Has it really been almost a year?

I miss her so much today. Holding my son, thinking how wonderful he is, my thoughts stray to my daughter. Life is so precious I desperately wish I had been given more time with her on earth.
I do not want her life to be only considered in tears, though. She brought joy to my husband and I. And in her brief life and in her death I have learned amazing truths this past year. A summary of these things follow.

   God is faithful. He is good. In the lowest and darkest of places He is there. His grace is sufficient. After Lydia's heartbeat was not found, I felt I could not go through labor and delivery, a funeral, and life after that moment. Only by the strength and grace of God I have. Christ is with me in my suffering and pain, He loves me, and I have felt closer to Him in this valley than I ever have. In all things, God is good

   Heaven is real and more wonderful than we know. Death is not something I fear. Through this past year, my desire for things in this life has lessened and Christ's return has become more desired. In the past I have felt a greater tie to the things in this world. I wanted to go to heaven, I wanted Christ to return, but I still held on to things I wanted to do or accomplish or experience before that. I am not where I should be in this regard, but I now have such joyful anticipation for Christ's return. I am ready for Him to come; I am ready to meet my Redeemer face to face. I can think of nothing I want to do or accomplish or experience first. This past year God has been teaching me to live more in light of eternity with my sight on the things above. 

   God is the giver of life. He makes babies. He decides how long each person lives. The life He gives, no matter the amount of time here on earth, is a gift. It is a precious blessing. 

   Trials, pain, and suffering can strengthen or dissolve relationships. I have experienced both this year. I am most grateful that it has strengthened my marriage. I have a closer bond and deeper relationship with my husband now. 

   Lastly, I am learning how to respond and interact with others in their pain and suffering. God "comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 
(2 Corinthians 1:4)