BABY SHOWER
Yesterday was the date of my baby shower that has been postponed. This is the second baby shower planned for me and my baby that has not come to pass. Lydia went to heaven before her baby shower on earth and this time the shower was cancelled/postponed due to the events of last weekend. We had to make a decision on whether or not we should have the shower and based on how I was feeling at the hospital, a shower was not something I felt I was ready to enjoy.
I will admit I threw a little pity party on Friday.
I complained to my husband tirelessly about how it was not fair that this was my second missed baby shower, how I will never get to enjoy a baby shower, and how I had many expectations of how my baby shower would be. He got to the point that he said he would plan and throw a baby shower for me himself if that is what needed to happen. I tried to gain some perspective on the issue. A shower of sorts is still in the works for after Isaiah's arrival. Yet it sounded so fun to have it in anticipation of his arrival, so I feel a little cheated of this traditional part of pregnancy that many women take for granted.
MOTHER'S DAY
This is the second Mother's Day in a row that I am pregnant. I should have a baby to proudly take with me to visit my mother today. I'm praying next Mother's Day will look differently.
It's funny how Mother's Day is about our mothers, but when you've lost a baby all you can think about is the baby you lost on Mother's Day: your role as a mother to a little one in heaven.
My husband and others have been very thoughtful in wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Maybe since I am at home with my husband and pups, this holiday does not seem as sorrowful. We did not go to church or see family, I think that helped to not face all of that (as if I have much choice at the moment).
Today I celebrate being a mother to one baby in heaven and another very close to entering the world.
My husband and others have been very thoughtful in wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. Maybe since I am at home with my husband and pups, this holiday does not seem as sorrowful. We did not go to church or see family, I think that helped to not face all of that (as if I have much choice at the moment).
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| First Mother's Day with Isaiah |
Awww. So sweet. I enjoyed reading this. It is always so great to hear your reflections in your blog. I love you so much and am grateful that you enjoyed your mother's day, gingerbread pancakes and all!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your words..spoken right from the heart! The baby shower will come...It may not be the way you planned...but thats what a GREAT mother does...takes the unplanned event and makes it better then the "original" planned event! Your CHILDREN are very lucky to have you as a Mother. I believe God put you on bed rest so you were able to enjoy your 1st Mother's day as a Mother of two with more joy then sorrow!
ReplyDeleteOhh and gingerbread pancakes....ummm YUMMM!!
I thought of you a lot today(Sunday),especially when we were singing in church "Healing is in Your Hands".I thought of you and then realized there are many moms who have children in heaven. Then I prayed for God's continued peace to sustain you.
ReplyDeleteSunday night I sat down to my Paul bible study, it was entitled Lydia's legacy. Immediately I thought of your Lydia. Then I read the verses about Lydia in the bible. Her brief appearance left me to reflect on your (our) Lydia's legacy.I have many thoughts I would like to organize on this.I will compose them and share them with you perhaps in the future, but the first thoughts of Lydia Grace Curtis' legacy were of how I love this child so much that I have yet to meet. It made me reflect on our Savior and Father God whom I have yet to meet and love so much. So on this mother's day...I think of a dear, sweet mother and her Lydia whose brief life this side of the veil still has an AMAZING legacy. As the bible's Lydia was a worshipper of God, your Lydia worships him now in ways we can no imagine...all my love...
and Megan I love your perspective on mothers making the the unplanned better than the original plan, there is definitely A LOT of that in motherhood....
I cannot wait to meet that strong,active son of yours and Drew's