I haven't written here in some time. I was thinking earlier today how it has almost been two years. Two years. It does not seem possible.
On Easter Sunday my husband, son and I went to Lydia's grave and found someone had placed an Easter egg on a stand at the head of her stone. It was a sweet, unexpected and intriguing gesture. Who put it there, we have no idea. It pleased me to see it. It is hard to think about not having her when I am consumed with carrying for Isaiah. I miss her more and less at the same time. I think I am still angry she isn't here. And only those who have or are walking this road understand.
I miss attending M.E.N.D. meetings. I have not gone to one since around this time last year, I believe. Isaiah would now be fine without me for a couple hours, but my husband's busy schedule prevents my attendance to any support group. Support. It is what I need right now and feel in great lack.
***edited*** Thanks for the responses!